Well the week goes by and everyone seems to be adjusting to the new IT Director. Understanding that sending me an email or calling my office phone gets the same response one expected when I was the lonely System Administrator. I must say that some people get big headed and what not when they reach upper management. Me, I just see it as more vacation pay, and treat the users the same.
Anyway, H.R. Guy has been leaving me messages all week about the unplanned interviews and something about proper procedure, saving resumes and what not. There was a long email about Equal Opportunity Employment stuff. And upon reading the first sentence, I displayed my middle finger to the screen and promptly deleted the email.
Being a Director does have its perks! Last Wednesday the V.P. of some really stupid division of the company called a meeting with all Central and Midwest directors to discuss travel reimbursement. Hey come to find out I was supposed to be reimbursed for ALL meals when on company business, not just Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. Also, there is NO LIMIT? That’s what the meeting was about. Setting limits. Meeting some of my fellow directors just reiterated my stance on upper management: MORONS, UBER MORONS! H.R. Guy was sitting in a corner of the conference room balancing his checkbook on-line. This is the very same person that convinced my old boss to install a linksys access point in the conference room. (Or rather had my former boss have me install the thing) Something about not needing an expensive access point since the thing would rarely be used. Shortly after the meeting was adjourned a substantial amount of money was transferred from the reimbursement accounts to his account. Oh yea and for some reason an audit trail was set up for the access points IP. I wonder why?
Well still no SysAdmin and no Phate. I did hear something on NPR about some hacker trying to break into N.A.S.A. Well Mr. Wellington; you probably should have done a little foot printing prior to actively sweeping the National Aeronautics and Space Administrations network. Too bad, he showed such promise.
I don’t know if it’s the killer sex, home cooked food or the fact that Julie let me set up 18 shell companies for her estranged husband and then notify the I.R.S. Or the added digit to my annual income, but I actually think I’m happy. But back to Julie’s soon to be ex.
Now the only down side of my shell company plan was – who know the F.B.I. could move that fast? Just as Julie and I pulled up across the street, three white vans, four local police cars and a fucking helicopter (Air Support?) pounced upon the ex’s property – Gotta love the Government; and there we were watching the estranged husband being pulled out of the house in his whitey tighties, crying like a little bitch with a skinned knee; and us with no time to get a good video for Youtube.
Well funs over and since its 10 am Friday morning, I may as well go into work. Walking up to my office, Lyn pulls me aside and informs me that the auditors are here all running around like chickens with their heads cut off.
I grab my coffee cup off my desk and head for the datacenter. Once inside I log on to the PBX and delete my voice mail. I accidentally delete all voice mail for F through I. Lyn has had it too easy this week.
Scanning usage reports, checking data conversion progress so I can finally get rid of that flipping shark array, and doing odd little tasks, I plug in the Help desk phone. It does not ring. A few minutes pass and it still does not ring. Not that I would answer it but still – I kind of miss the old days. I page Lyn.
Within minutes, Lyn is in the datacenter staring at me staring at the Help desk phone.
“It’s not working”?
“What’s not working”?
“The Help Desk Phone”
“Yes it is, got a call on it this morning. Something about an audit trail and backups for AP reimbursements or some such shit. That’s why the auditors are here”.
“Ah, but the phone isn’t ringing. Tell you what. Take this crossover cable and plug it into any open port on that stack and plug the other end into any open port on the stack next to it”
Confused, Lyn crosses the room and plugs in the crossover cable and gives me one of those WTF looks. I look at Lyn, then at the phone. I pause for a moment and look back at Lyn’
“See that fibre card on the first stack? Towards the bottom of the first switch where you plugged in the patch cable? Pull it out”.
Lyn does as I instruct and again gives me that WTF look. Just then the help desk phone rings. I look a Lyn and notice that her look has changed to one of understanding.
“Troubleshooting” says Lyn.
“Yep” I reply.
We both stroll out of the datacenter and head across the street to Starbucks.
“Nothing like knowing that your Help Desk is in good working order” says Lyn.
I smile and order for the both of us. I can’t help wondering how long it will take for the spanning tree forces all data paths into standby and more importantly, could Lyn be the next Bastard?
Original Story by dinowuff for TheTAZZone/TAZForum…all rights reserved.