I had best get this out of the way right from the start. I am 38 and I still consider myself a semi-serious gamer. I don’t get the time to indulge like I used to, three kids will do that to you, but I still look forward to the next Halo/COD/Gears instalment. Obviously by looking forward I actually mean, I sit and nervously count down the days like a kid waiting for Christmas, hoping that the Wife doesn’t find something more important to spend my games money on before release date finally comes around. Apparently in her world, food and heating are considered important, go figure.
Anyway, I digress, but you can imagine my surprise when she who controls the purse strings suggested that we purchase a Nintendo Wii. Now I’m an X-Box man at heart, but the Wii seemed like it could be a nice bit of casual fun and good for the younger kids. I would still have my real console for proper gaming, so what’s the worst thing that could happen?
Wii FIT, that’s what.
She wants to go on holiday in the summer and apparently WE are unfit, and WE need to get into shape (I quite like my shape, the perfect ellipse). I didn’t like the way she looked at my belly every time she said WE though. So instead of Mario Cart or a golf sim, I get to jump up and down on an over-priced piece of plastic, whilst some fat on-screen avatar shouts words of encouragement and constantly reminds me that I am the perfect weight and size, for a baby whale.
I nearly wrote “isn’t gaming meant to be fun?” at the end of that sentence, but then I remembered that it wasn’t that much fun watching my Master Chief laying plasma riddled and dead on the ground, being tea-bagged by another Master Chief whilst some 12 year old kid who’s balls haven’t even dropped yet, screams abuse at me from 3000 miles away.
So I have reluctantly agreed to the Wii FIT purchase, there is always the hope that my……stone weight will snap the plastic torture board, thus leaving me and Mario to our own banana skin throwing devices.
Wish me luck, I’m going to need it. I’ll keep you all informed.
( goonerjamie can also be found here )