TheTAZZone - Internet Chaos

Mitt Romney you Suck!

Why??? Because everywhere I go your name pops up. You’re like a roach infesting the Internet. A fly buzzing around your head who just won’t go away. The annoying little dog that just won’t let go of your leg. You’re like a virus being spread, or maybe you’re like a malicious poltergeist hiding in everyone’s basement. Not too long ago it was Obama, Obama, Obama, everywhere an Obama. Now it’s here a Milt, there a Milt, everywhere a Milt Milt.

So who are you Milt? Really! Most of us ( that is the other 7 billion people on this Planet who aren’t Americans ) aren’t up on American politics, we’re too busy complaining about our own Governmental fruck-ups to be too concerned about some former Governor of Massachusetts.

But let’s examine your life Milt…just to edify, elucidate, and educate the rest of us so we can understand why you’re worthy of such extreme recognition and promotion.

Your father was the former Governor of Michigan, well can’t really credit you for that can we…however it does explain how you got to be a Governor yourself. Nepotism and favoritism is rampant in politics, Hollywood, music, and other such places. Your father being a former Governor automatically set you up to slide easily into that position yourself.

‘ I did it on my own! ‘…a big whopping FAIL!

I see Milt you spent some time as a Mormon missionary. Unlike a lot of people I respect that. I think it takes a certain amount of guts to leave your home, travel to a different City, live with strangers, and go around preaching your good word, and knocking on doors, knowing that most people mock you and hate you almost as much as the JW’s.

However…again it’s not really something you accomplished yourself is it Milty? It was kinda required of you, being a Mormon and all that. It’s not like you volunteered to do it, like joining the Peace Corps.

‘ I did it on my own! ‘…a big whopping FAIL!

You did, apparently help Bain & Company out of financial ruin, and from that, co-founded the spin-off Bain Capital. Which netted you some enormous profits.

‘ I did it on my own! ‘…we’ll give you this one Milty! Even though I suspect that most of your life up to this point, including your education, had a lot to do with being the son of a former Governor of Michigan, the influences that comes with that,  and being raised with a silver spoon in your mouth.

You’re not exactly a poster child for someone dragging themselves out of poverty and overcoming the disadvantages that come with that.

While Governor of Massachusetts you managed to cut a $1.5 billion deficit, and signed into law the Massachusetts Health Care reform legislation, to help bring in near Canadian-like universal health coverage.

Now I’m never the one to complain about reducing Government spending, or opening up opportunities to health care for those who can’t afford it. So…

‘ I did it on my own! ‘…KUDOS! On this one Milty.

On the issues of same-sex marriage and abortion it’s really hard to tell where you stand Milt. Because you jump around like a fly on a poop. First you’re against same-sex marriage, then you semi allow it by instructing town clerks to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, then you endorse a petition effort led by the Coalition for Marriage & Family that would have banned same-sex marriage. First you’re pro-choice then you flip-flop to pro-life. Either you have some serious conflicting ethical issues or you just want to confuse the voters on these, usually very volatile topics that can make or break a campaign. Probably the latter.

‘ I did it on my own! ‘…yep, whatever it was…a big whopping FAIL!

After a FAILED 2008 campaign to be the Republican nomination for President you’re throwing in your hat for 2012. Well, I’m not an American voter, but if I was I don’t think I’d vote for you Milty. Not because I think you’re necessarily a bad guy…or would do a worse job than any of the others…I wouldn’t vote for you because you’re sheltered. You apparently have no concept of the average busting his/her butt American. You simply can’t relate to the other 300 million Americans who aren’t swimming in money, influential friends, or weren’t groomed by a well-to-do family. And there’s also the issue of standing your ground on your ethical principles which you skated around on.

Hopefully…Americans will have a better option. Have a nice day Milty!

( image courtesy of  tvclubedosamba.com )

 

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