Well for those of you, who have been following my return; let me give you a quick update. After the fiasco a few months back with the unauthorized software install, video clips that put worlds funniest to shame and the introduction of fresh food and Julie to my humble yet bastardized existence, I am now the Director of Information Services for Hugh Company Inc.

At first I thought that I may have made a mistake. The first few weeks I interviewed hundreds of applicants for my old position. Covered budget requirements and sat in on mission planning meetings. Now I thought I was the world’s worst bastard. That I could make people feel pain nth times more than the devil himself. I was wrong. The companies CFO, with all his financial prowess and complete understanding of cubes and financial technology – well in short. This guy can make your eyes bleed. Sitting in overview comities with this guy explaining future material costs and justifiable insurance capital investments… Well I almost got to the point of feeling inferior. ALMOST.

I walked in the house one Friday after work only to find Julie in the kitchen humming away to some metal tune long forgotten. I started telling her about my latest round of interviews. After a few minutes she just started laughing and asked why I was being so nice?

Ever been hit on the side of the head with a 2X4? Yup just like that I changed my tune.

Being the head of IT is o.k., but the lusers never complain to me because no one is working under me. I keep everything up and running smoothly. I really can’t screw with the users as I’m the only one here less the Tier I person that has become my ad hoc secretary. So I now need, not only a scapegoat, but an apprentice – if I’m lucky.

Over the weekend I reviewed all the resumes I had received. I searched for phrases like u r and cya. I gathered every resume that did not include a cover page. The more misspelled words the better. Preparing for Monday morning I emailed every applicant whose resume had the phrase u r and no cover letter with the following.

Dear Applicant:

This is an automated email – Please do not reply.

If you know the answer to “Life, The Universe and Everything”
please contact me to schedule an in person interview.

For all the applications that were so misspelled I sent the following.
Dear Applicant:

This is an automated email – P;ease donot send ack

if ur interceded in interviweeing for the position of system admeinistror –

pl;eae bring a coyp of this to your interview monday morning let me know when youcan come for an intervies

do not respone to this email.

I used my hotmail account and attached their original resume so they would know what position I was referring to. Come Monday I’m going to have some fun.

Original Story by dinowuff for TheTAZZone/TAZForum…all rights reserved.

By admin

Former Freehand Freelance Graphic Illustrator... been online since 2004 ( late starter ), blogging since 2005, presently writing a suspense-thriller e-book that began as a screenplay.