TheTAZZone - Internet Chaos

The Bastard System Administrator

Now I’ve been known, from time to time, to write about my typical work day. Usually whining about stupid users or idiot managers. So once again….

The other day I was looking at my AV database (Trend Micro) and noticed that I only had a few licenses left. That’s odd, me thinks to myself – so I defrag the database, all better, lots of licenses left. Move on to existing task(s). New 2003 domain and exchange server. Well not new but new to me. Start pulling data off, backups and then FDISK. That’s got to be one of the best “feeling” commands ever written. I’m going to sell the servers and move on. The helpdesk app me and my cohorts wrote has an issue. We allowed the end user to select the priority of the helpdesk ticket they submit. Low, Normal, High, Critical or scheduled maintenance. Problem: Some users believe that network printer consoles displaying “Ink Cartridge low, order more supplies” warrant a Critical HD Ticket. So fire up textpad and add security to the priority field for normal users. Now then, sit down and read some posts on AO and read and write here. Slap J_K9 for kicks and giggles (even though he’s a good kid) and go through some syslogs.

Help desk phone keeps ringing, but I don’t have too much to worry about. My level I support ladies have been trained well. If it’s a dumb user, reboot. If it’s a stupid user, hold for 5 minutes (they’ll hang up and the problem will fix itself. If it’s an annoying user, don’t answer. Now on this particular day, the help desk phone starts ringing off the hook. Since I am sysadmin, part of my job is to keep tier I from killing the end users so I go investigate. Turns out that one user is calling every 5 minutes about some network printer running out of ink and they can’t change the priority on their helpdesk request to Critical and they just want me to look at the thing because they need to print a report that shows all of the daily reports have been filled out.

On my way out to kill the user – That’s also one of the benefits of being sysadmin, I get to do it – not tier I. Boss stops me and asks what I’ve been working on. I tell him. He needs me to explain the AV thing, why we were using so many licenses and why was I deleting information from the servers he wants me to sell. I sigh and make a mental note to again explain why companies don’t want to sell servers without first erasing all the info on them. I think I’ve covered licensing, corporate secrets, personal information, and finance/payroll with him at least one million times.

So I continue on my mission and I’m almost at the users office when I get paged over the intercom, my pager goes off and my cell phone rings.

WTF. The boss is on the cell phone, he had the girls page my pager and page me over the intercom. He needs to see me right away. I turn around and head back to my office. I get there and my boss, the helpful user that was so concerned about the network printer, and that users boss. All wanting to know what I was going to do about the printer.

Blood boiling, I inform the user that the reason the printer does that so often is because you have printed almost every article on sexstoriespost dot com and you’re using all the ink (a lie, but user has no response). I quickly inform users boss (who according to web sense tries to access porn at least twice a day) that I will be running web usage reports and asked him if he thought it was a good idea for me to run the thing for directors also. Then I turn to my boss and ask him if he remembers telling me that if one network printer is down, users have to use a different printer. He remembers (NOT I have to remind him at least once a quarter).

So the two directors start discussing if info messages on printer consoles are critical, I take the user that started this and show him exactly what I am going to do with websense and his internet browser cache if he ever calls the helpdesk again.

All of this takes 2.5 hours of my day. And I have a 1 hour meeting planned for me in the morning to discuss the need for network printers. The porn seeking boss will be there as a result of dip shit user complaining to everyone that would listen. Meeting will last 5 minutes as I intend to walk in with three internet usage reports.

Original Story by dinowuff for TheTAZZone/TAZForum…all rights reserved.

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